Kids Jokes

1) Bird Jokes

 

Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!

Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and…?
A: A penguin falling down the stairs!

Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed?
A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference!

Q: What is a polygon?
A: A dead parrot!

Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A: The crane!

Q: Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A: Because if it lifted both legs it would fall over!

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk!

Q: What did the sick chicken say?
A: Oh no! I have the people-pox!

Q: What do you call a funny chicken?
A: A comedi-hen

Q: Why do scientists think humming birds hum?
A: Because they can’t remember the words!

Q: What bird is always depressed?
A: The blue jay

Q: Why do seagulls like to live by the sea?
A: Because if they lived by the bay they would be bagels!

 

2)

Cat Jokes

Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?
A: Purrr-ple

Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
A: A first-aid Kit.

Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing’ taxi cabs!

Q: Why are cats good at video games?
A: Because they have nine lives!

Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?
A: Because he’s always spotted!

Q: What song does a cat like best?
A: Three Blind Mice.

Q: What game did the cat like to play with the mouse?
A: Catch!

Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
A: To the mewseum

Q: Why did the cat go to medical school?
A: To become a first aid kit

Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk

Q: Have you ever seen a catfish?
A: No. How did he hold the rod and reel?

Q: What state has a lot of cats and dogs?
A: Petsylvania

 

3)

Dinosaur Jokes

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
A: Doyouthinkysaraus

Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A: A dino-snore!

Q: How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your refrigerator?
A: The door won’t shut!

Q: What dinosaur would Harry Potter be?
A: The Dinosorcerer

Q: How can you best raise a baby dinosaur?
A: With a crane!

Q: What did the dinosaur put on her steak?
A: Dinosauce

Q: Why was the Stegosaurus such a good volleyball player?
A: Because he could really spike the ball!

Q: What came after the dinosaur?
A: Its tail!

Q: What does a triceratops sit on?
A: Its tricera-bottom.

Q: What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?
A: Rep-tiles

Q: What is the best thing to do if you see a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
A: Pray that it doesn’t see you.

Q: What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty

Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans?
A: Squash

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: To eat the chickens on the other side.

Q: What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time?
A: Lazy bones

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown?
A: A dino-score

Q: What did the dinosaur use to build his house?
A: A dino-saw

 

4)

Dog Jokes
Q: Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the dog!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What dog keeps the best time?
A: A watch dog!

Q: Why don’t dogs make good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet!

Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle!

Q: Why are dogs like phones?
A: Because they have collar IDs.

Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Ruff!

Q: What do you call a dog that is left handed?
A: A south paw!

Q: What did one flea say to the other?
A: Should we walk or take a dog?

Q: What type of markets do dogs avoid?
A: Flea markets!

Q: What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
A: Well, doggone!

 

5)

Duck Jokes

Q: What time does a duck wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!

Q: What do ducks get after they eat?
A: A bill!

Q: What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!

Q: Who stole the soap?
A: The robber ducky!

Q: What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
A: A firequacker!

Q: What has fangs and webbed feet?
A: Count Duckula

Q: What was the goal of the detective duck?
A: To quack the case

Q: Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
A: To make a fowl shot!

Q: What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
A: He quacked up!

6)

Elephant Jokes

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?
A: Time to fix the fence!

Q: Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
A: So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

Q: What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at a movie?
A: Miss most of the film.

Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?
A: Did you ever try to iron one?

Q: What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
A: Get out of its way!

Q: What is gray and blue and very big?
A: An elephant holding it’s breath!

Q: What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you?
A: Ten after one!

Q: What wears glass slippers and weighs over 4,000 pounds?
A: Cinderellephant

Q: What was the elephant’s favorite sport?
A: Squash

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: You take away its credit cards!

Q: What’s the best thing to do if an elephant sneezes?
A: Get out of its way!

Q: What do you do with a blue elephant?
A: You try and cheer her up

 

7)

Horse Jokes

Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible?
A: The horse’s name was Friday.

Q: Why did the pony have to gargle?
A: Because it was a little horse!

Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?
A: Why the long face?

Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Q: When does a horse talk?
A: Whinney wants to!

Q: What’s the best way to lead a horse to water?
A: With lots of apples and carrots!

Q: What disease was the horse scared of getting?
A: Hay fever!

Q: How long should a horse’s legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground

Q: Which side of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!

Q: Why did the man stand behind the horse?
A: He was hoping to get a kick out of it

 

8)

Rabbit Jokes

Q: How do rabbits travel?
A: By hareplane.

Q: What is a bunny’s motto?
A: Don’t be mad, be hoppy!

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

Q: What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style?
A: Hip-Hop!

Q: Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
A: On their bunnymoon!

Q: What do you get if you cross a rabbit with an insect?
A: Bugs bunny

Q: What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backwards?
A: A receding hare line

Q: What do you call a rabbit who is angry over gettting burnt?
A: A hot cross bunny

Q: How can you tell which rabbits are getting old?
A: Look for the grey hares

Q: Why are rabbits so lucky?
A: They have four rabbit’s feet?

 

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